Sure, we’ve got sushi. We’ve added mayonnaise and hot sauce and sushi rolls that have no rice or fish in them. We’ve got kara-oke, although we still can’t pronounce it (KAH-rah OH-kay), and all of its attendant headaches. Hello Kitty has made it here, and anime is almost an English word. Even markets that specialize in Japanese merchandise and cater to the Japanese populations of moderate size cities. I had an Oronamin-C just the other day (natsukashii!), and we have shabu-shabu in my household at least once a month.

But where’s all the good stuff? The little stuff that made life so much easier? So much more home-like? I know you can get a kotatsu here, but you have to search long and hard. And spend alot. And han-ten? I have to drive to L.A. during the exact right season, and make sure my wallet has plenty of fodder. What about those little plastic containers of simple syrup that are served with iced coffee and tea?

And Kin-en Pipe. I want to quit smoking. I NEED to quit smoking. My doctor has told me, my mother has told me, my partner (who smokes as much as I do) has told me. But I can’t do it cold turkey. And the patches only help with the cravings. There’s that free-hand thingy to deal with, too. Those little flavored pieces of plastic could be wielded just like a cigarette. You could tap pretend ashes off of them. You could jab the air with them while you spoke, emphasizing your point. You could hold them in your mouth, buccaneer style, when your hands were otherwise occupied. And best of all, you could take a drag and it would almost, almost feel like you were really inhaling smoke. And they were cheap. Way cheaper than cigarettes, because one pipe could last you a whole day!

We need these little amenities in America. And with the internet, we should have them! As I said, I MUST quit smoking. I also HATE stirring my ice tea for ten minutes so I don’t get a mouthful of semi-crystalized sugar! If you travel to Japan often, couldn’t you bring some of these things back for us?